About a year and a half ago I ended a very serious, long-term relationship. This blog is about me and can be kind of personal sometimes, but I don't want to go into too much detail about something like this. I'll just say that it was kind of a bad relationship that came to a nasty end months, maybe even years, after it should have. I've considered myself over it for months now, but two nights ago I took the final step in rising above it completely: I put all of my Pearl Jam CD's back on my mp3 player. See, my ex was obsessed with this band and he's the one who really introduced me to their music. I fell in love with Pearl Jam over the course of our relationship, and not just because he liked them since there were plenty of bands he liked that I detested (Catherine Wheel comes to mind), but as soon as we broke up it was just too painful to hear Eddie Vedder's voice and to listen to these songs that I associated so strongly with him. In the last year and a half, I've not only taken them off of my mp3 player, but have insisted that other people change the radio station when a PJ song comes on in their car (which happens, oh, all the time in Seattle), and have excused myself to go to the restroom if one of their songs comes on in a bar (rare, but it still happens). Music is a powerful thing; it can bring back memories you otherwise wouldn't think about and bring on emotions you otherwise wouldn't feel. Listening to Alanis Morissette's third album, Under Rug Swept, and Natalie Imbruglia's second, White Lilies Island, always takes me back to my senior year of high school, the Beach Boys always make me feel like a kid, and Pearl Jam will probably always make me think of this relationship. But at least it doesn't hurt anymore.
In honor of this milestone, I've put together a Pearl Jam playlist for the month of May. It would be a top ten list of my favorite PJ songs, but the site I use didn't have all of the songs I would have included (namely, "Wishlist," "Not for You," "Love Boat Captain," "Present Tense," and "Smile"). These are still great.
*"Better Man" (Vitalogy, my favorite PJ album).
*"Yellow Ledbetter"
*"Rearviewmirror" (Vs.)
*"Black" (Ten)
*"Daughter" (Vs.)
*"Elderly Woman behind the Counter in a Small Town" (Vs.)
*"Alive" (Ten)
*"Corduroy" (Vitalogy)
*"Do the Evolution" (Yield)
*"Nothingman" (Vitalogy)
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1 comments:
I've checked this out a few times recently (mostly because you haven't been posting much on LJ, and I saw a link for this on one of your posts there), and I felt like commenting on this one.
The whole thing about music being very powerful and bringing back memories (both good and bad) is very true ... I find myself writing very similar things in my journal from time to time.
It's also interesting to me that, despite the fact that I previously knew this, we both had very serious long-term relationships with guys obsessed with Pearl Jam. What's more interesting to me, though, is that when I was reading this, a flood of memories came rushing back ... I could remember when I ended things with Bekim and felt that way about Pearl Jam (even though they were my favorite band before I even knew he existed). Even now, years after the breakup, I still have a difficult time listening to some of their songs. I know I'm over him, and have been for a VERY long time, but this goes back to the memory thing ... I can't help but feel sort of sad when I hear certain songs.
Anyway, I just thought I'd comment since I feel I relate to this post so well.
I also wanted to say that of the songs mentioned, "Black" was my all-time favorite song for many years (from the age of thirteen until the age of twenty-one, when it was replaced with Elliott Smith's "Junk Bond Trader"). I think "Present Tense" has some of the greatest lyrics ever written, and "Better Man," "Rearviewmirror," "Nothingman," and "Not For You" have always been some of my favorites as well.
This comment might rival your entry in length. Sorry.
<3 Kristen
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